I take a step out side of my self
To see the person that I have become
What I see makes me vomit
The sickness, blood and rot
Blood oozing out of many wounds
Flesh rotting of the bone
My heart deep black with great sickness
My self covered in filth
I wish I could end it here
Then I see a person coming to me
A person of intrigue and great beauty
Fire shines in her eyes
A white cloth adorns her head
Wounds and scars can be seen on her body
Some of the wounds still have the weapons in them
Most are sewn shut and oz e a little blood
Some are even healed
Her body is free of decay and sickness
I wonder who this person is
I watch as she approaches
I am amazed that she can stand to look at me
The wretch that is as good as dead
She smiles at me and ask me to sit
To my surprise I see my self obey
She seeks to help me finally heal
I push her away scared of what will happen
I know the pain that will come
When I am no longer numb
I want to run away, but know I can’t
I want to live again, but not have the pain
She sits there patently waiting
Waiting for me to choose
Whither or not to live
The look on her face is that of sadness
I come back to her and tell her
I can never be like you I am to far gone
“Your never to far gone,” she replies
She pulls out some ointment
When it hits my flesh it burns
I hit and scratch her and see blood
I pull way in fear of what will happen
She wipes the wound a pours the ointment on it
The blood stops and it start to heal
She still sits there
Trying to get me to return
I try to convince her I am not worth it
But she is set in he way that I am
As I draw closer my blood gets on her
I apologize she say, “Its ok”
As she start her work
My body hurts in pain
I hit and scratch causing her pain
Tell her it hopeless
“It will be better in the end” she said
I watch in awe as she helps clean wounds
I see there is still hope for me
My heart continues to poisons my flesh
My flesh slowly re-grows on the bone
There are times when I rip it off in my thrashing
She tries to calm me but my heart wont listen
So she sits there my healer waiting in sadness
So we sit there the healer and the monster
One of light, one of hell
Still I wonder why she stays, or how she can
I wish she just finish me and leave me dead
My healer will not listen to my pleads
So we sit there waiting trying to heal
Wounds that do not want to close
The beauty of light and the grossness of hell
My healer and me
Labels: Poetry